The Magic of Christmas

I love this time of year.  Not because of the presents and all the hoopla that surrounds Christmas and New Years, etc. but because of the magic.  There is a mystical feeling that sits in the air the entire month of December that I just can't help but get sucked into. 

When I was a little kid, probably until the age of about 7 or 8, I would get so excited on Christmas morning that I would sneak down stairs before it was even light out to peek at the tree and see if Santa had come.  Once or twice I actually caught my parents still wrapping - God bless you Mom & Dad that you'd stay up until 3 in the morning wrapping and getting things done if you had to so that we didn't lose a single moment of magic Christmas morning.  I still remember that feeling, I have the memory tucked away where I sneak down and look into the living room and the entire room is sparkling.  All I saw was the magic in the air, clearly left behind from Santa himself.  After taking a sneak peak at any "big gifts" left unwrapped I'd sneak back up to bed to try to wait until it was time to get up.  Laying in my bed though, I'd get so worked up with excitement, that I literally would get sick.  Year after year, I spent the early morning of Christmas puking with anticipation.  My poor mother...

There was the one year that after I got sick, both my brother and sister did too...  Pretty sure that one wasn't my fault.  Anyhow, there was nothing special that my parents did to the room to make it sparkle.  We had a regular tree with regular lights and yes, my parents did spoil us on Christmas - They still do, but that was it.  In my memory though, the entire room was twinkling, like the inside of a snow globe filled with gold glitter.  It is so vivid in my mind still today.

I hate that as we grow older we have to lose that sense of wonder.  Of course teenagers are miserable, it's like they just found out that all the best parts of their world aren't actually real!  It's not until you have children of your own that you get to relive the magical element of the holidays again.  My daughter just turned two and I for one am so excited to see how she reacts to Christmas this year.  She's still a little young to grasp it all, but there is a blossom forming within her heart already.

As an adult though, the magic I see around the holidays is watching the way people care for others.  I saw a post recently on facebook that warmed my heart.  I wish I could find it to share, I will keep looking.  Anyhow, a woman on her way home from work crossed paths with a homeless man who had offered to do some odd jobs in exchange for cash.  She didn't own a home with a yard to be worked on or have a car that could be cleaned, but just the same she asked the man what it was that he needed.  He kindly informed her that he had a North Face coat on hold at a consignment store down the street that he wanted to purchase, but that they would only hold it until the end of the day. 

When she posted her story to share with others, it was not to brag about how awesome she was for going with the man to buy him a jacket on a freezing cold day, but to share with the world that there are people out there who will literally do almost anything for a warm coat.  Here we are complaining about being cold as we are bundled up out and about during the day, but there are so many people who don't have a warm place to come home to at the end of the day.       

I was reminded of this story over the weekend as I watched one of my favorite holiday movies White Christmas, and I got all twisted up listening to Bing Crosby sing "Count your Blessings."  If listening to this doesn't fill your heart with contentment, I'm not sure what will!  "When I worry and I can't sleep, I count my blessing in stead of sheep.  And I fall asleep, counting my blessings."

Tonight, and all this holiday season as we all stress over how to keep up with the bills and fight through snow storms...  Take the time to stop look for the magic in the air.  Look for one minute through the eyes of a child and don't forget to count your blessings every night before you fall asleep.

One week until Christmas Eve....   Enjoy every minute of it!

           This is as close as I could find for how I remember my childhood Christmas to look! 

The importance of importance...

What makes you feel important in life?  I know this is a loaded question, but apparently having a feeling of importance is one of the key elements to finding personal and professional happiness.  So, think about it for a minute and see if you can pinpoint a few specific things that really define who you are as a person.  It's funny how highly valued modesty is in our society, and yet a solid sense of self importance is what moves us, it's what defines our lives.

Many of the motivating factors in our lives are built around our own need for self importance.  Everyone needs to feel important, it's a natural component in building self esteem.  When we feel important we feel more confident in who we are as human beings and what we bring to the world around us.  Though this sense of importance shows itself in different ways and in different levels of intensity for different people, the overall concept is the same for all.

Why is it though that often times in order to feel a sense of importance ourselves, we need to feel as though we are above others?  In fact for some people, the only way for them to feel important is if they are climbing the backs of those around them.  This is especially true of women competing against other women.  Retract the claws ladies.  Believe it or not, working together will get you a hell of a lot farther than behaving like caddy little school girls.  Plus it is really annoying!   

I know, it is natural to search out that feeling of importance by any means possible, but STOP...  Think for a second, what is the harm in allowing others to feel important?  Are we lesser people, have we accomplished less ourselves, if we allow someone else to feel good?  Believe it or not, in the long run we get more from building each other up than by putting one another down.  Sure, it might feel good for a minute to make fun of someone, or to gossip behind someones back.  It certainly livens up a boring or stressful work environment too.  We've all been there at one point or another, but relationships built on such rocky ground hold very little weight when it really counts.

Put your energy to better use and you will find your return on investment will be ten fold.  Don't be afraid to be the least important person in the room.  Seriously.  In fact, make it your goal.  I know that sounds a little drastic and crazy, but I don't mean for you to literally make yourself the least important person.  What I mean is for you to make it a point to build the people up around you.  Try to worry less about making YOU feel important and focus on making those around you feel important.  Watch what happens when you do this too...  You'll be shocked when you realize that this action inherently makes people want to put you on a pedestal.  When you encourage others to talk about themselves, you immediately become more interesting.  After all most people are 100% more interested in their own interests.

Pretty obvious right?  Then why do we all half listen in conversations, while half thinking about what we are going to say next, trying to control ourselves from interrupting.  Yup - it's one of my go-to moves.  I have to remind myself to focus on what is being said, so I guess you could say I am doing 1/3 listening, 1/3 thinking about what to say next and 1/3 trying not to.  No matter how hard you have to try to fight the urge, do it!  There is nothing that can make a person feel less important than talking to someone who is constantly interrupting and bringing the topic back to themselves.

I am obsessed with the book "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.  Horrible title, brilliant book!  Dale Carnegie spends an entire section of his book on this topic siting examples of historic leaders who lived their lives by this philosophy.  If you ever get the chance to read (or listen to) this book, I promise you won't be disappointed.  I guess it has been in the top sellers list for near to a century for a reason.        

And because everyone needs a little Modern Family in their lives...  Here's a funny clip that somehow manages to show you both sides of what I wrote about all in two minutes time!   http://youtu.be/uZgmsgw1Xw8.  Enjoy. 

The battle of weird vs. normal

People are weird.  I admit it, even as a person who truly enjoys talking to and understanding different types of people, it is clear to me that there is no such thing as "normal."  It's funny how much time and energy is spent on trying to BE normal though, when the reality of it is that there is no such thing.  Because we are all weird in our own ways though, and since we tend to connect with people who have similar values, ideas, etc., we end up creating our own normal within our circles of friends & family.  You want to see an example of this played out in real life?  Just watch one episode of Wife Swap and you will clearly see what I mean.

Where the battle of weird vs. normal is so subjective and every person on the planet has their own idea of what each of those words means, why is it that as a rule, acceptance is so hard for people to grasp?  For some, the wisdom of acceptance comes with age, for others with experience...  And then, I am pretty sure there are those who will just never understand.

Unfortunately, I have been the victim of poor judgement many a time in my life and career.  Sometimes it is difficult to see past a person's physical appearance or unique personality traits to see what valuable assets are hiding in there.  Many of the volunteer leaders that I work with would tell you that this is a topic that I love to discuss.  In general, volunteers are a unique breed of human being anyhow... and I mean that in the BEST sort of way of couse, but just like everywhere else, there are some that just can't help but wear a trench coat at the most inopportune time.  (If any of you are out there reading, admit it... you love it when I come up with these things, right?)

See my problem is that I love people.  I can't help but find something positive in every interaction, it is just a natural part of who I am.  p.s. It is also part of what makes ME a weirdo, but that's ok.  The way I see it, every single person out there is carrying a golden nugget of sorts.  You know, that one thing about them that makes them special or unique.  Sometimes they carry it in places where it is easy to see, like confidence or beauty, and other times you have to really go digging to find it.  None the less, I promise you, it is there.  If we don't force ourselves to look deeper into our daily interactions for the "more" that exists, then we are merely living on the surface and are missing out on countless opportunities for more.

Emerson said, "Every man I meet is my superior in some way.  In that I learn of him."  I love this saying.  One, because it is so true.. and two, because it provides a different perspective on how to view those around you.  When we take the time to look for the deeper value in those around us, we will learn more about ourselves and as a result grow as a stronger more accepting community of weirdos... Oops, I meant people!

Here is another favorite image of mine for you to enjoy.  Not exactly on topic, but I am sure you can make the connection without too much trouble.   

   

A family that plays together

I am sure you've heard the saying, "A family that plays together, stays together." I have a hundred times.  Though, when I went to google it today to be sure I got it right, I found that there are a dozen variations of it, some normal, and some very unusual!  Apparently some families actually "Prey Together," who knew?  Regardless of how the saying has been butchered over the years, I wanted to talk a little bit about family today and this seemed like a good place to start.

I have been given the gift of a huge family.  Yup, it is a gift.  Sometimes it feels like the $5 check in a card from a great Aunt and other times it feels like I hit the lottery, but it is a gift all the same.  My poor husband comes from a small family that is scattered across the country, so I can only imagine what runs through his mind half the time as we power through one insane family party after another.  Secretly I think he loves it too or he would have walked away years ago, right?

Anyhow, as my family is struggling through the loss of my Aunt at the very young age of 45, I can't help but watch the family dynamic as I look for answers.  Grief brings out both the best and the worst in people and families.  I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a whole lot of tension, but it is a whole lot more than that too.  I am the type who prefers to connect with each person more one to one, so I have had the privilege of getting a lot of different perspectives over the last week.  During that time I have heard a lot of truths both positive and negative, a lot of people's feelings both justified and not and a lot of worry, support and love.

I am not exactly sure why we are so tough on the ones we love most.  Sometimes when feelings are hurt or hearts are breaking, it is easy to jump to conclusions or judge someone where we might have normally been able to look for the bigger picture.  It is hard for me to see my family struggling and in some instances even arguing when I know how much each of them is struggling.  It is when we are hurting though that we need each other the most.  This is the time when we need to forget about the old issues and come together as one to tackle the biggest hurt of all, losing someone too soon.   

I will say this much though, at the heart of all the chatter and frustration I have seen the silver lining too.  I think my cousin put it best when she posted "With our family being so big, it was so amazing and comforting to watch them one by one filling my grandmother's house this evening to come together to support one another over one of my Auntie's favorite meals-my grandmother's homemade spaghetti and meat sauce."  

We may not always get along, we may not even always like each other...  but the love of a strong family in unbreakable.  I am proud of the values that my parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents have instilled in each and every one of us and know that we will get past this hurdle as well as the many more that we will face in the years to come.  This week in honor of my Aunt I am asking each of you to find time to play with your family.  (or pray, or prey... what ever your style may be)  Find time to let loose, get silly, reminisce about the past and plan something fun for the future.  At the end of the day, is there really anything more important anyhow?  

Love you and miss you Auntie Jeanne.  

 Me, my brother and my Aunt from right to left

     Auntie Jeanne last Christmas

On the path to greatness

I am on the path to greatness... well, I am trying to be!  Though I have many goals that I am trying to tackle, i.e. loose the extra weight I gained while pregnant with my daughter, buy a house, etc.  The most important of them for me is continuing on my path to be a better version of myself.  I am one of those crazy people who really gets a lot out of self help books.  No, not the ones where you meditate and listen to some Yoda guy babble on about spirituality... Though I am sure those work for some people, I much prefer a book where you get tangible tools and examples to work from.  And, I should point out... as my Mother would say, "Does it really count as reading it if you listen to the book?"  I don't have an answer for that, but I am obsessed with Audible.com and "read" so much more when I can listen in the car, at the gym or while doing dishes.  

So, long story short, I have been "reading" a book called the Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor.  One of the key topics in the book is about cause and effect.  We often say to ourselves things like, Once I loose the weight, I'll be happy; or, once I get a new job, I can focus on my family.  The author of this book encourages us to look at it from the opposite perspective, and I think he has a great point!  Rather than waiting to loose weight to be happy or feel good, find ways to be happy and you will feel more encouraged and motivated to accomplish your goals.

I am going to test this theory.  I want to feel happier every day and in order to do that I need to feel like I am making a difference in the world.  I can't control all the areas that I want to change, but I can always change me.  So, here's my plan...  I am going to make it a priority each and every day to reach out to one person and tell them how I appreciate them.  Shawn Achor says that it takes 21 days to form a life habit, so for each of the next 21 days I will reach out to one person and share with them my gratitude.  It will be a different person each of the 21 days and as suggested I am going to give specifics.  i.e. not just "Thanks for being a good friend" but a detailed reason as to why each person is special and important to me.  Then I can report back to you and let you know how it goes!  

I already know where I plan to start.  Today I am going to reach out to my Aunt Angela and let her know how incredible I think she is for caring for my Aunt Jeanne in her final days (months) and for taking in my young cousin now that my Aunt is gone.  Wish me luck, and feel free to experiment with me!  As always I love getting comments and hearing your feedback.        

A day of giving thanks

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  Today is the greatest holiday of the year...  Partly because there are no gifts to give and because there is no one person to celebrate.  Also because it is a day where we recognize what it is that we have in this world and find reasons to be thankful where we might not even look on a regular day. 

This year is particularly challenging for me.  There seems to be a great deal of loss and illness in the world these days and it hurts my soul that the people I love are suffering. 

I know everyone has a busy day ahead with family gatherings and abundant meals, etc. but please take a moment today to remember those who are less fortunate.  Remember that there are people out there today who don't have families to celebrate with, Turkeys to cook and enjoy, even warm homes to relax in.  My grandmother said it to me on the phone last night...  and those of you who know my grandmother know that this is a MAJOR epiphany...  She said that though she is on a budget now and can't get her hair permed once a week like she used to, she feels lucky that she has a warm place to come home to, and not everyone has that luxury.  Way to go Grandma - The thankful feelings must be in the air!

As I celebrate today I will be thinking about how grateful I am for the good health that my immediate family has been blessed with.  My Aunt has recently stopped her chemo treatments and does not have the luxury of a carefree Thanksgiving today.  Also today I am grateful for my Mom.  As my best friend celebrates what will likely be her last Thanksgiving with her Mom and bestfriend, I am reminded how special it is to have such a strong relationship with my mom.  I will be sure to treasure the time that I have as not everyone is so lucky. 

Lastly, I am reminded to be thankful for my loving husband and healthy child.  Though my life is hectic and harried and impossible to keep up with most days, not every family is blessed with children, and many times the battle of infertility is enough to break up even the strongest marriages.  Though we hope someday to be blessed with another child, for the moment, we are grateful that modern medicine has come far enough to help us welcome a beautiful baby girl into this world when we might have otherwise not been able to.  (Also thanks to my friends at AGC who helped me through this difficult time in my life)        

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone today.  I hope you find a hundred different reasons to be thankful too!  I'd love to hear what it is you are thankful for!  Please comment if you can and share your special thanks. 

I've just gotta be me!

So I just finished reading Dan Pierce's blog - Single Dad Laughing.  This is one of my favorite blogs to read because this guy really puts himself out there.  He is honest, even when it isn't pretty, but also makes a solid effort to be his best every day and create some positivity in a world that really isn't terribly open to it.

It bums me out that people are so tough that he has decided to take a break from blogging.  First off, good for him.  He sees that the feedback he is getting is changing his own outlook and that he needs to take a step back to regroup on being the kind of person he wants to be.  Way to go buddy.  Honestly, I kind of feel like I am in a really similar position.  No, not with my blog...  I wish!  Single Dad Laughing (SDL) has one of the biggest followings out there.  Some day I hope to reach half the people he touches with my thoughts and ideas.  I'm talking about my actual day to day life.

My whole mentality is that positivity can rule the world.  If you think it, it will come.  And I don't mean that if you think about a rolex watch that one day you will wake up with one on your wrist...  Though I bet my husband would LOVE it if that happened!  What I mean is, if you approach your day looking for good/beautiful things, you will find them.  And if you spend your day looking for the opposite, you will find this also.

Lately, and I've alluded to this in some previous posts, I find that I am somewhat surrounded by negative energy.  Not at home, and not in my family or with my friends... Those are all environments where I get to control most of with whom and how I spend my time.  Don't get me wrong, they aren't perfect either, but I have been blessed with a quirky but loving family and the most amazing friends a girl could wish for.  The place I'm talking about is the one place where you don't get to choose the people who surround you...  Also the one place where you spend most of the hours in your day, work.

I am trying so hard to stay above it, to not get dragged down by the insecurities and negative behavior of the people who surround me, but I am only doing ok at actually living this reality.  I want to be stronger and better, but I feel as though my environment is literally starting to change some of the parts of me that I have come to like best.  I am finding that all I have to offer to the people I love is the negative waste that I need to get out of my system so that I can feel normal, and that is just not fair.  When you start to get the sympathetic looks from acquaintances who don't really know what to do with the honesty that you've just shared that they just smile and change the subject.... Crap, how did I get here!

So when SDL says he needs to take a break to "reset," I absolutely get it!  I am hoping that using up some of my vacation time will help me also.  If nothing else, help me to clear my mind and focus on all the amazing things that I do have in my life that make me happy and proud each and every day.  Plus, I have a good feeling that a little good news is coming down the pipeline for my family, AND my lil bro/bestie will be in town for an entire week around the Thanksgiving holiday!  Until then, I am absolutely taking advice on how to keep positive.  Lay it on me people, maybe some extra positivity will help to balance the rest!     

Another lovely quote from my favorite FB page... Enjoy! 

Post by Positive Outlooks.

Does what you do define you?

Today I am struggling with a very specific issue...  Does what you do for work actually define who you are as a human being?  I would always have said no, but as I am entering into a bit of a transitional time in my career I am starting to wonder if I was just pretending.  If what I do does not define me, then why is it so hard to envision myself doing something different?  AND, why do I allow the frustrations in my career to affect how I view my own self worth.  Just a few years back, I could look in the mirror at myself and my accomplishments and feel pride and excitement.  Today, though I have accomplished even more and risen above many obstacles, I just feel kind of...  empty.  I am not a huge fan of me these days, which is the worst kind of disappointment.  How do I get back to the me that was excited to tackle another day?  

I can pin point much of my internal struggle in certain variables in my current "environment," but these are not things that will change until I am on to the next step.  The very elusive next step in my career and in my life.  I guess the real challenge in front of me then is how do I maintain the important elements of me, even though I am pretty sure they are not welcomed or appreciated in my day to day existence?  Quite frankly, I like me.  I like who I am as a human being and the impact that I am able to bring to the world around me.  I have always known that I was a bit of a square peg in a round hole in my career, but lately I am wondering if the entire puzzle might have changed around me when I wasn't looking.

So here I am stuck, working for change, but in the mean time stuck just the same... and there are days (like today) where I have to just close my door or walk away and remind myself that I GET TO CHOOSE.               
 
It's funny - I've told my younger brother this a few times too over the years, and I can't tell if he thinks I am completely certifiable or inspiring (hopefully both??), but I often have to stop in my tracks on any regular day and say OUT LOUD to myself, "You - get - to - choose."  It could be the choice between a good day or a bad day, or between doing what feels good vs. what actually is good.  Every day, every moment is a choice.       

As ridiculous as this sounds, it is something that I truly believe in.  I read this quote on-line a few weeks back and actually printed it to hang up in my office.  "Miserable people focus on the things they hate about their life.  Happy people focus on the things they love about their life."

 So - Today I am fighting hard to choose to be happy.  What I do for work will not define my worth as a human being, and there is nothing I can do to change the nasty attitude problem that our IT guy has.  If I keep repeating these things, eventually maybe my heart will begin to believe them.  That's the very best I can do for now.

Check your attitude at the door kids

One thing that I have just never understood is why some people feel the need to have such an attitude in life.  It is a concept that I struggle with on a daily basis.  I know I am not perfect, and can occasionally loose my cool, but let me ask this question...  What purpose does it serve?  Do you feel better about yourself by treating others poorly?  If so then you have some serious soul searching to do my friend. 

I saw this post last night on a popular facebook page that I quite enjoy. 

"So sometimes we receive not so nice emails. It comes with the 'job' of posting here. We feel sad for people who cannot start a dialogue with a kind tone. No matter what the issue is talk to us, but don't lecture us. If you speak to us nicely we be will nice and accommodate you. But if you throw a tantrum we will put you in your place and promptly walk away. Time is too precious to get caught with other people's drama. — Positive Outlooks Team"

First of all, how in the world is there anything negative to email to a facebook page that is called Positive Outlooks?  The whole concept of this page is to inspire people with positive thoughts...  Also it is a fan page that you CHOOSE to "like."  If you aren't happy with what they are posting, why wouldn't you just click to un-like it?   

Either way, when I read this I thought, HELL YEAH!  Sometimes I wish I could be so blunt about this in my daily life.  I just had a visit from a volunteer in my office.  Someone who I have enjoyed over the years and who has committed a great deal of time and energy to what we do here.  For whatever reason lately, she just cannot seem to pull herself out of the "swamp" of life.  I guess she probably has always been there, but my patience for it has begun to wear down of late.  Her last two visits I have spent a great deal of time trying to inspire her with our cause and inform her of the special quality that is our program.  All things that I truly believe... so you'd think it would be somewhat impactful, but in the end I end up getting no where.  In fact, my inability to climb into the swamp with her I think is making her more and more frustrated with me too.  

This is a regular occurrence for everyone I think.  There are people around us who are just in the swamp, and people who are not.  If you think about it, you can probably pin point a few people right off the bat.  I know I can.  The person who doesn't have the maturity to just talk to you if their feelings are hurt, or chooses to ignore you or intentionally exclude you because you don't see eye to eye.  Grow up people.  There is more to life than just YOUR feelings.   

Also, I love how they said "Time is too precious to get caught up in other people's drama."  This is so true too.  If you look at the world around us, there are thousands of people (millions even) who have things far worse off than we do and still manage to attack life with their positivity.  Are our problems really that bad that we can't look beyond to the larger purpose?     

My challenge to you today is to fight the urge to swim in the swamp.  Even if all the "cool kids" are doing it!  Be the bigger/better person, slap a smile on your face and keep moving forward.  I promise you, it will bring you much farther in life than the alternative.   

Let's get serious - Wait...Nah!

Today I came across a video that really caught my attention.  People are always posting things on social media sites and saying, "A must watch" or "Greatest ever"... but if I am able to make the time to watch these, I am often disappointed but the little value they bring to my world.

This one however, though completely ridiculous, hit just the right place in my heart.  Feel free to check it out for yourself if you'd like, I've included the link at the bottom of this page.

What I walked away with is something that I have thought before, but that EVERYONE needs a quick reminder about now and again.  You just can't take yourself too seriously in life.  What's the point anyhow?  Sure a few very serious people went down in history for changing the world with a life altering invention or scientific discovery... but lets get real here.  How many of us are going to be the next Albert Einstein?  Ok, so in all fairness, if you are ridiculously intelligent and have a life saving/altering invention brewing...  you can stop reading this post now.

One of the biggest mistakes that I think people make in life is getting too wrapped up in their own world and taking themselves too seriously.  I think there comes a time where people start to regress in their learning.  Maybe its the hours that we keep at the office, or the stress of raising a family and doing it well, or trying to at least?  Maybe its the fact that real life is hard and there are times when we all get knocked down.

I'm not sure exactly what causes this regression, but at some point in life, people start to forget how to have fun. I hope that you watch this video, see the ridiculousness that is this old lady getting her groove on with too short pants and think, screw it.  Why shouldn't she just let it all out and bust a move on her front steps.  If we all focus a little more of our energy on letting go every day and a little less on being so up tight, the whole world would be more enjoyable.

Funny thing - about an hour after watching this video, I went to lunch with a good friend...  A guy who is reaching the age of retirement, but who lives every day like he did when he was 30.  We talked about this and I asked him how he manages to keep it light and make every day fun.  He confided in me that there were three moments in his life that nearly ended his time here on earth.  He views each of these moments as a harsh reminder that we need to make the most of the time we have.  Now, I do not envy the near death experiences...  but I certainly do hope that when I am at the stage of life that this friend is at, I can be like him.  He is currently 18 states deep in his quest (a bucket list if you will) to sing Karaoke in each of the 50 states of America!

Hope you enjoy...  http://youtu.be/PP9b_91PHi8
  

Perspective...

Perspective is a funny thing.  We go about our daily lives living within this box that is our own perspective.  I guess there is no way to get around it, but I feel like I am constantly trying to reach beyond.  To see what the world looks like through someone else's reality.


Unlike the majority of the human race, I am not motivated by interpersonal competition.  In all honesty, I am perfectly content watching, helping and cheering on as others get out there and "win the race."  I know, I know... you are thinking, yeah right!  I am not by any means protesting to be a better human being...  In fact I am confident that I am not, just motivated differently.  I guess you could say that I find my motivation and inspiration through competition also.  I just find I am always competing with the same person, with myself.  I am constantly looking at myself in the mirror (figuratively of course...) and thinking, I wish I was more, I want to do more, give more, help more.   


Today I was able to give a little of myself to support a close friend who is going through a very difficult experience.  Its funny how you can wake up in the morning with all the crap in your life running through your mind, and then one quick experience can clear it all out.  Today I sat through the closing arguments of a trial that regardless of the outcome will change the lives of many people forever.  I don't want to share all the intimate details out of courtesy for my friend, but needless to say it is a day that will live in her memory for the rest of her life.

What I walked away with was perspective.  I have found new appreciation for family (both hers and my own), close friendships, and the simplicity of my troubles and the safety that I take for granted on a daily basis.  At the end of the day, no matter what challenges I face in life, here are a few things that I know for certain.  1.  I will never be homeless.  2.  I will never go hungry and 3.  I will always have someone who loves me unconditionally.  I know these things seem simple, and even silly, but there are many people in this world who are lucky if they can check one of those items off their list.

My goal this month, while the world is posting their "what I am grateful for" posts on facebook every day is to really look at the world around me.  To find not just the obvious things to be grateful for each and every day like, "A husband who does my laundry" or "a child who sleeps past 6am after day light savings time" (besides the fact that my daughter did not)...   But to look for the things that are difficult to find.  I will leave you with this visual...  You'll find me looking for the light at the end of every dark tunnel this month - even if it's me with a flashlight screaming, Hey over here! 

  

The grass is always greener...

We often hear the phrase, "the grass is always greener" from friends, family, etc. as we navigate our way through life, but my question today is - Is it really?

Last weekend some of my best friends and I got together for our monthly girls night.  We try so hard to keep in touch, to call each other here and there, etc. but with budding families at home, and extended families in the area (or not so in the area) it never seems like we get together enough.

Our  night started out as usual, with some casual SNW chit chat.  (SNW = Sports, News & Weather)  For whatever reason, sports, news and weather are easy topics to talk with most anyone about.  I know that this is common behavior... but quite frankly, I am not into sports, don't have time to watch the news, and am lucky most days if I think to look out the window before getting dressed.  In other words, I suck at SNW conversation.

What this means is that I am often the person in our group to takes the conversation across the line and directly into the more intense topics of conversation.  Now this is where I can have some fun!  Outside of my weight...  which is a whole other topic for conversation, I pretty much have nothing to hide.  In fact, I really have a hard time understanding why people feel the need to hide so much of who they are.  If we are doing the best that we can each and every day, living semi-honest life styles and trying to be considerate of the people around us then why hide our reality from the people we care about?

Anyhow, I think it is interesting how little we really know about even the people closest to us.  The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, and that is why I love crossing the line of SNW into real conversations about real life issues.  Sometimes you have more in common than you realize.  Often times you realize that your troubles are not nearly as bad as you thought.  And occasionally you may even gain some perspective you didn't even know you needed.   

Well, as you guessed, this is what happened at our girls night.  Eventually the walls came down (as they always do) and we starting talking real life.  Talking about the things that you aren't supposed to talk about.  Parents who are sick and how we can't live with out them, family members that are so self involved that we are at our whits end with, relationships that look amazing from the outside but leave us feeling a little shy of fulfilled, and of course our families that are just crazy - and let's be real here...  they are ALL crazy in their own ways.   

I often blame the continued success of my marriage on my best friends.  That being said, though they are amazing and supportive friends (sisters even), they are not exactly hanging out in our bedroom coaching us through the rough spots.  They are honest.  We share with each other not just all the great things that we go through, but also the crap that comes with it.  We know about the fights over who's family to go to for Thanksgiving, who's hubby's lose their tempers easy, sit down to poop while we brush our teeth, eat an entire pie in one sitting, etc.  My closest friend and I have often said to each other... "I don't know how you do it - I just couldn't live with your husband."  Good news?  We aren't looking for a wife-swap any time soon!  Though, I bet a few of the husbands would be open to that too...

I guess what I am getting to here is don't be afraid to share who you are.  Everyone needs a few people you can cross the SNW line with or all you will see is real life in front of you and green pastures in every other direction.  Look for the real life that exists in those green pastures and you will see that your real life has some pretty green spots in it too.   

Life - In the "Real World"

Life is a fascinating thing.  If you really stop to look around you, you will find that interesting things are happening everywhere you turn.  I found inspiration to start writing this blog while walking the track at my local YMCA.  The track is suspended over a basketball court, and as I was walking and distracting myself by watching a whole bunch of old guys play basketball like they were in the NBA.  I thought to myself, How does a person end up playing basketball at the Y on a random Thursday night?  I guess it is not any different than my own decision to walk (attempt to run - yeah right!) the track above, but still somehow it caught my attention.    

I know what made me chose to be there...  the fact that my daughter is at the day care center there, I was able to sneak out of work a few minutes early, and that I am desperate to try to lose SOME of the weight that was so easy to gain when I was pregnant.

I find that there are millions of activities that people focus their time on, that we don't even know exist.  Not only were there a bunch of 50 somethings playing a VERY intense game of basketball, but there was a ref working the game, two kids keeping the score and a handful of people watching the game!  How is it that all these people made it to this event, some even found employment as a result of it, and yet I had no idea that it was even happening?...

I guess I should share with you a little more about myself before I pass along all my insights on life and interpersonal relationships.  To start I am a Mom, a proud Mom to a spunky little girl who will be two in just a few months.  Two going on six...  but still.  I am happily married to a great guy who is constantly driving me crazy, but who challenges me every day.  More on him another day, I think I could write an entire blog just on my crazy husband!  And lastly, I work full time in programs and events for a non-profit organization.  It is my job to coordinate hundreds and thousands of people, specifically Volunteers.  I often say that every day is an adventure in Volunteer land.  I shake a whole lot of hands, and kiss a lot of old men.  Like I said, always an adventure.

I am fascinated with the elements that make people tick.  What gets them out of bed in the morning and what keeps them going all day long.  I am sure I will spend plenty of time talking about that, as well as the inner workings of the way people think and act.  I hope you will enjoy following me on this crazy journey that we call life.  Sometimes I feel like life doesn't give it enough of a real feel to it.  Life flies by so fast.  So, Life in the "Real World" seems more official.