Last weekend some of my best friends and I got together for our monthly girls night. We try so hard to keep in touch, to call each other here and there, etc. but with budding families at home, and extended families in the area (or not so in the area) it never seems like we get together enough.
Our night started out as usual, with some casual SNW chit chat. (SNW = Sports, News & Weather) For whatever reason, sports, news and weather are easy topics to talk with most anyone about. I know that this is common behavior... but quite frankly, I am not into sports, don't have time to watch the news, and am lucky most days if I think to look out the window before getting dressed. In other words, I suck at SNW conversation.
What this means is that I am often the person in our group to takes the conversation across the line and directly into the more intense topics of conversation. Now this is where I can have some fun! Outside of my weight... which is a whole other topic for conversation, I pretty much have nothing to hide. In fact, I really have a hard time understanding why people feel the need to hide so much of who they are. If we are doing the best that we can each and every day, living semi-honest life styles and trying to be considerate of the people around us then why hide our reality from the people we care about?
Anyhow, I think it is interesting how little we really know about even the people closest to us. The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, and that is why I love crossing the line of SNW into real conversations about real life issues. Sometimes you have more in common than you realize. Often times you realize that your troubles are not nearly as bad as you thought. And occasionally you may even gain some perspective you didn't even know you needed.
Well, as you guessed, this is what happened at our girls night. Eventually the walls came down (as they always do) and we starting talking real life. Talking about the things that you aren't supposed to talk about. Parents who are sick and how we can't live with out them, family members that are so self involved that we are at our whits end with, relationships that look amazing from the outside but leave us feeling a little shy of fulfilled, and of course our families that are just crazy - and let's be real here... they are ALL crazy in their own ways.
I often blame the continued success of my marriage on my best friends. That being said, though they are amazing and supportive friends (sisters even), they are not exactly hanging out in our bedroom coaching us through the rough spots. They are honest. We share with each other not just all the great things that we go through, but also the crap that comes with it. We know about the fights over who's family to go to for Thanksgiving, who's hubby's lose their tempers easy, sit down to poop while we brush our teeth, eat an entire pie in one sitting, etc. My closest friend and I have often said to each other... "I don't know how you do it - I just couldn't live with your husband." Good news? We aren't looking for a wife-swap any time soon! Though, I bet a few of the husbands would be open to that too...
I guess what I am getting to here is don't be afraid to share who you are. Everyone needs a few people you can cross the SNW line with or all you will see is real life in front of you and green pastures in every other direction. Look for the real life that exists in those green pastures and you will see that your real life has some pretty green spots in it too.
