A day of giving thanks

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  Today is the greatest holiday of the year...  Partly because there are no gifts to give and because there is no one person to celebrate.  Also because it is a day where we recognize what it is that we have in this world and find reasons to be thankful where we might not even look on a regular day. 

This year is particularly challenging for me.  There seems to be a great deal of loss and illness in the world these days and it hurts my soul that the people I love are suffering. 

I know everyone has a busy day ahead with family gatherings and abundant meals, etc. but please take a moment today to remember those who are less fortunate.  Remember that there are people out there today who don't have families to celebrate with, Turkeys to cook and enjoy, even warm homes to relax in.  My grandmother said it to me on the phone last night...  and those of you who know my grandmother know that this is a MAJOR epiphany...  She said that though she is on a budget now and can't get her hair permed once a week like she used to, she feels lucky that she has a warm place to come home to, and not everyone has that luxury.  Way to go Grandma - The thankful feelings must be in the air!

As I celebrate today I will be thinking about how grateful I am for the good health that my immediate family has been blessed with.  My Aunt has recently stopped her chemo treatments and does not have the luxury of a carefree Thanksgiving today.  Also today I am grateful for my Mom.  As my best friend celebrates what will likely be her last Thanksgiving with her Mom and bestfriend, I am reminded how special it is to have such a strong relationship with my mom.  I will be sure to treasure the time that I have as not everyone is so lucky. 

Lastly, I am reminded to be thankful for my loving husband and healthy child.  Though my life is hectic and harried and impossible to keep up with most days, not every family is blessed with children, and many times the battle of infertility is enough to break up even the strongest marriages.  Though we hope someday to be blessed with another child, for the moment, we are grateful that modern medicine has come far enough to help us welcome a beautiful baby girl into this world when we might have otherwise not been able to.  (Also thanks to my friends at AGC who helped me through this difficult time in my life)        

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone today.  I hope you find a hundred different reasons to be thankful too!  I'd love to hear what it is you are thankful for!  Please comment if you can and share your special thanks. 

I've just gotta be me!

So I just finished reading Dan Pierce's blog - Single Dad Laughing.  This is one of my favorite blogs to read because this guy really puts himself out there.  He is honest, even when it isn't pretty, but also makes a solid effort to be his best every day and create some positivity in a world that really isn't terribly open to it.

It bums me out that people are so tough that he has decided to take a break from blogging.  First off, good for him.  He sees that the feedback he is getting is changing his own outlook and that he needs to take a step back to regroup on being the kind of person he wants to be.  Way to go buddy.  Honestly, I kind of feel like I am in a really similar position.  No, not with my blog...  I wish!  Single Dad Laughing (SDL) has one of the biggest followings out there.  Some day I hope to reach half the people he touches with my thoughts and ideas.  I'm talking about my actual day to day life.

My whole mentality is that positivity can rule the world.  If you think it, it will come.  And I don't mean that if you think about a rolex watch that one day you will wake up with one on your wrist...  Though I bet my husband would LOVE it if that happened!  What I mean is, if you approach your day looking for good/beautiful things, you will find them.  And if you spend your day looking for the opposite, you will find this also.

Lately, and I've alluded to this in some previous posts, I find that I am somewhat surrounded by negative energy.  Not at home, and not in my family or with my friends... Those are all environments where I get to control most of with whom and how I spend my time.  Don't get me wrong, they aren't perfect either, but I have been blessed with a quirky but loving family and the most amazing friends a girl could wish for.  The place I'm talking about is the one place where you don't get to choose the people who surround you...  Also the one place where you spend most of the hours in your day, work.

I am trying so hard to stay above it, to not get dragged down by the insecurities and negative behavior of the people who surround me, but I am only doing ok at actually living this reality.  I want to be stronger and better, but I feel as though my environment is literally starting to change some of the parts of me that I have come to like best.  I am finding that all I have to offer to the people I love is the negative waste that I need to get out of my system so that I can feel normal, and that is just not fair.  When you start to get the sympathetic looks from acquaintances who don't really know what to do with the honesty that you've just shared that they just smile and change the subject.... Crap, how did I get here!

So when SDL says he needs to take a break to "reset," I absolutely get it!  I am hoping that using up some of my vacation time will help me also.  If nothing else, help me to clear my mind and focus on all the amazing things that I do have in my life that make me happy and proud each and every day.  Plus, I have a good feeling that a little good news is coming down the pipeline for my family, AND my lil bro/bestie will be in town for an entire week around the Thanksgiving holiday!  Until then, I am absolutely taking advice on how to keep positive.  Lay it on me people, maybe some extra positivity will help to balance the rest!     

Another lovely quote from my favorite FB page... Enjoy! 

Post by Positive Outlooks.

Does what you do define you?

Today I am struggling with a very specific issue...  Does what you do for work actually define who you are as a human being?  I would always have said no, but as I am entering into a bit of a transitional time in my career I am starting to wonder if I was just pretending.  If what I do does not define me, then why is it so hard to envision myself doing something different?  AND, why do I allow the frustrations in my career to affect how I view my own self worth.  Just a few years back, I could look in the mirror at myself and my accomplishments and feel pride and excitement.  Today, though I have accomplished even more and risen above many obstacles, I just feel kind of...  empty.  I am not a huge fan of me these days, which is the worst kind of disappointment.  How do I get back to the me that was excited to tackle another day?  

I can pin point much of my internal struggle in certain variables in my current "environment," but these are not things that will change until I am on to the next step.  The very elusive next step in my career and in my life.  I guess the real challenge in front of me then is how do I maintain the important elements of me, even though I am pretty sure they are not welcomed or appreciated in my day to day existence?  Quite frankly, I like me.  I like who I am as a human being and the impact that I am able to bring to the world around me.  I have always known that I was a bit of a square peg in a round hole in my career, but lately I am wondering if the entire puzzle might have changed around me when I wasn't looking.

So here I am stuck, working for change, but in the mean time stuck just the same... and there are days (like today) where I have to just close my door or walk away and remind myself that I GET TO CHOOSE.               
 
It's funny - I've told my younger brother this a few times too over the years, and I can't tell if he thinks I am completely certifiable or inspiring (hopefully both??), but I often have to stop in my tracks on any regular day and say OUT LOUD to myself, "You - get - to - choose."  It could be the choice between a good day or a bad day, or between doing what feels good vs. what actually is good.  Every day, every moment is a choice.       

As ridiculous as this sounds, it is something that I truly believe in.  I read this quote on-line a few weeks back and actually printed it to hang up in my office.  "Miserable people focus on the things they hate about their life.  Happy people focus on the things they love about their life."

 So - Today I am fighting hard to choose to be happy.  What I do for work will not define my worth as a human being, and there is nothing I can do to change the nasty attitude problem that our IT guy has.  If I keep repeating these things, eventually maybe my heart will begin to believe them.  That's the very best I can do for now.

Check your attitude at the door kids

One thing that I have just never understood is why some people feel the need to have such an attitude in life.  It is a concept that I struggle with on a daily basis.  I know I am not perfect, and can occasionally loose my cool, but let me ask this question...  What purpose does it serve?  Do you feel better about yourself by treating others poorly?  If so then you have some serious soul searching to do my friend. 

I saw this post last night on a popular facebook page that I quite enjoy. 

"So sometimes we receive not so nice emails. It comes with the 'job' of posting here. We feel sad for people who cannot start a dialogue with a kind tone. No matter what the issue is talk to us, but don't lecture us. If you speak to us nicely we be will nice and accommodate you. But if you throw a tantrum we will put you in your place and promptly walk away. Time is too precious to get caught with other people's drama. — Positive Outlooks Team"

First of all, how in the world is there anything negative to email to a facebook page that is called Positive Outlooks?  The whole concept of this page is to inspire people with positive thoughts...  Also it is a fan page that you CHOOSE to "like."  If you aren't happy with what they are posting, why wouldn't you just click to un-like it?   

Either way, when I read this I thought, HELL YEAH!  Sometimes I wish I could be so blunt about this in my daily life.  I just had a visit from a volunteer in my office.  Someone who I have enjoyed over the years and who has committed a great deal of time and energy to what we do here.  For whatever reason lately, she just cannot seem to pull herself out of the "swamp" of life.  I guess she probably has always been there, but my patience for it has begun to wear down of late.  Her last two visits I have spent a great deal of time trying to inspire her with our cause and inform her of the special quality that is our program.  All things that I truly believe... so you'd think it would be somewhat impactful, but in the end I end up getting no where.  In fact, my inability to climb into the swamp with her I think is making her more and more frustrated with me too.  

This is a regular occurrence for everyone I think.  There are people around us who are just in the swamp, and people who are not.  If you think about it, you can probably pin point a few people right off the bat.  I know I can.  The person who doesn't have the maturity to just talk to you if their feelings are hurt, or chooses to ignore you or intentionally exclude you because you don't see eye to eye.  Grow up people.  There is more to life than just YOUR feelings.   

Also, I love how they said "Time is too precious to get caught up in other people's drama."  This is so true too.  If you look at the world around us, there are thousands of people (millions even) who have things far worse off than we do and still manage to attack life with their positivity.  Are our problems really that bad that we can't look beyond to the larger purpose?     

My challenge to you today is to fight the urge to swim in the swamp.  Even if all the "cool kids" are doing it!  Be the bigger/better person, slap a smile on your face and keep moving forward.  I promise you, it will bring you much farther in life than the alternative.   

Let's get serious - Wait...Nah!

Today I came across a video that really caught my attention.  People are always posting things on social media sites and saying, "A must watch" or "Greatest ever"... but if I am able to make the time to watch these, I am often disappointed but the little value they bring to my world.

This one however, though completely ridiculous, hit just the right place in my heart.  Feel free to check it out for yourself if you'd like, I've included the link at the bottom of this page.

What I walked away with is something that I have thought before, but that EVERYONE needs a quick reminder about now and again.  You just can't take yourself too seriously in life.  What's the point anyhow?  Sure a few very serious people went down in history for changing the world with a life altering invention or scientific discovery... but lets get real here.  How many of us are going to be the next Albert Einstein?  Ok, so in all fairness, if you are ridiculously intelligent and have a life saving/altering invention brewing...  you can stop reading this post now.

One of the biggest mistakes that I think people make in life is getting too wrapped up in their own world and taking themselves too seriously.  I think there comes a time where people start to regress in their learning.  Maybe its the hours that we keep at the office, or the stress of raising a family and doing it well, or trying to at least?  Maybe its the fact that real life is hard and there are times when we all get knocked down.

I'm not sure exactly what causes this regression, but at some point in life, people start to forget how to have fun. I hope that you watch this video, see the ridiculousness that is this old lady getting her groove on with too short pants and think, screw it.  Why shouldn't she just let it all out and bust a move on her front steps.  If we all focus a little more of our energy on letting go every day and a little less on being so up tight, the whole world would be more enjoyable.

Funny thing - about an hour after watching this video, I went to lunch with a good friend...  A guy who is reaching the age of retirement, but who lives every day like he did when he was 30.  We talked about this and I asked him how he manages to keep it light and make every day fun.  He confided in me that there were three moments in his life that nearly ended his time here on earth.  He views each of these moments as a harsh reminder that we need to make the most of the time we have.  Now, I do not envy the near death experiences...  but I certainly do hope that when I am at the stage of life that this friend is at, I can be like him.  He is currently 18 states deep in his quest (a bucket list if you will) to sing Karaoke in each of the 50 states of America!

Hope you enjoy...  http://youtu.be/PP9b_91PHi8
  

Perspective...

Perspective is a funny thing.  We go about our daily lives living within this box that is our own perspective.  I guess there is no way to get around it, but I feel like I am constantly trying to reach beyond.  To see what the world looks like through someone else's reality.


Unlike the majority of the human race, I am not motivated by interpersonal competition.  In all honesty, I am perfectly content watching, helping and cheering on as others get out there and "win the race."  I know, I know... you are thinking, yeah right!  I am not by any means protesting to be a better human being...  In fact I am confident that I am not, just motivated differently.  I guess you could say that I find my motivation and inspiration through competition also.  I just find I am always competing with the same person, with myself.  I am constantly looking at myself in the mirror (figuratively of course...) and thinking, I wish I was more, I want to do more, give more, help more.   


Today I was able to give a little of myself to support a close friend who is going through a very difficult experience.  Its funny how you can wake up in the morning with all the crap in your life running through your mind, and then one quick experience can clear it all out.  Today I sat through the closing arguments of a trial that regardless of the outcome will change the lives of many people forever.  I don't want to share all the intimate details out of courtesy for my friend, but needless to say it is a day that will live in her memory for the rest of her life.

What I walked away with was perspective.  I have found new appreciation for family (both hers and my own), close friendships, and the simplicity of my troubles and the safety that I take for granted on a daily basis.  At the end of the day, no matter what challenges I face in life, here are a few things that I know for certain.  1.  I will never be homeless.  2.  I will never go hungry and 3.  I will always have someone who loves me unconditionally.  I know these things seem simple, and even silly, but there are many people in this world who are lucky if they can check one of those items off their list.

My goal this month, while the world is posting their "what I am grateful for" posts on facebook every day is to really look at the world around me.  To find not just the obvious things to be grateful for each and every day like, "A husband who does my laundry" or "a child who sleeps past 6am after day light savings time" (besides the fact that my daughter did not)...   But to look for the things that are difficult to find.  I will leave you with this visual...  You'll find me looking for the light at the end of every dark tunnel this month - even if it's me with a flashlight screaming, Hey over here!