My husband is really into the radio program “This AmericanLife” and he gladly uses up all of our data listening to the online pod casts whenever
he gets the chance. Occasionally, when
on longer trips together (when our daughter is a sleep of course, or we’d be
listening to “princess music” for sure…) we will listen to an episode or two
together too. It’s an interesting show
with a mixture of real life stories, a reporting of sorts and off beat
fictional stories often told by celebrities.
All in, it’s right up my husband’s alley; primarily non-fiction and
definitely odd.
Last week on our way home from a trip to Maine to visit his
family we got into one episode called “Bad Baby” and needless to say, we got
more than we bargained for. I had picked
the episode based on the title because, every parent of a two/three year old
wonders sometimes if they are doing right by their kids and whether they are
being too tough or too easy, etc. I
guess this was what this episode was about… sort of. But it also had a much darker turn with a
family who has a child who demonstrates violent and somewhat psychopathic tendencies
at a really young age.
I found that we were both completely fascinated and
mesmerized by the story. The thought
that a small child could be so “bad” just has never crossed our minds. I guess in that, we are lucky. It means that though kids in our families,
friendships, etc. may not always behave perfectly and as parents we may have
different views on discipline and behavior, I’ve never actually come across a
child that was truly “bad.” Even our
perfect little angel has me reeling some days praying that bedtime come faster,
but this was a whole different ball of wax.
I know I always focus my posts towards positive thought, but this story
has plagued my mind for nearly a week now.
This Mom… this extremely
brave Mom, who has come out to share her story with the world in hopes to find
answers and resources to help her kid, is living in a constant state of anxiety
and fear that I can’t even begin to imagine.
To give you the cliff notes version, essentially what initially seemed
like a case of the ‘new baby in the house blues’ continued to progress and get
worse with not just a lack of empathy, but a true joy in causing pain and fear. The family now has three kids in total, and
this Mom and Dad have run into multiple situations where their eldest son has
purposely inflicted injury on both them and the other kids and has gone so far
as to actually try to kill his brother twice!
More than once this past week my husband and I have gotten
into this fairly heated discussion about what do parents do in this
situation? Is it really as simple as
saying – That’s it!? He thinks it is… but he’s a guy. It’s easy for a man to put his foot down and
say, I’d never tolerate that, without ever having been in the shoes of the
people involved. How do you choose one
child over another? But also, how do you
allow your kids to live in fear? When
exactly do you decide that its ok to “give up on your kid” for the betterment
of the family?
I can honestly say that I have no answers to any of these
questions, but here is what I have taken from this story line and the message I
want to leave you with today:
- Find a reason to be grateful for the life/family that you have, especially on the tough days – So many people live in terror and fear every single day of their lives and our worst days might look like their best days.
- Be kind to the people you interact with – Period. Regardless of their attitude, grumpiness, road rage, whatever… You just never know what kinds of battles they are fighting in life and will it really make you feel better about yourself to be a jerk? Seriously…
- Thank your Mom. Whether it’s a long overdue phone call, a visit, or for some - a prayer… Be sure to send some love her way because, though you likely weren’t as tough on her as the story above, the reality is that you probably caused her many moments of heartache over the years.
If you want to torture yourself like me and read more about
this family and their struggles you can check out these links:
Or you can read her whole blog at www.myfamilymyvillage.com.
p.s. Links to both the radio program and the specific program "Bad Baby" are imbedded above.
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