Ever have a strange and contradictory encounter with someone
where you walk away thinking, What the…?
One that leaves you thinking about how well they actually know
themselves and their own minds? I’d like
to think that we all take the time to think and wonder about our own actions
and motivations, but the reality is that many people push through life acting
with very little thought to the reasons behind their actions. I guess sometimes it can be easier to live in
denial than it is to come face to face with your own truths.
I’ve been here... I
have a distinct memory from a few years back when, with not nearly enough adult
beverages in my system to pretend to blame my behavior on, I found myself
razzing a co-working just a little too hard.
I meant it in good fun, but clearly had crossed the line from funny to
borderline mean. I remember feeling a
bit out of body at the moment too… thinking, what am I doing? and eventually
moving on from the conversation to talk with someone else.
A few days later when faced with this person again, I apologized. I wasn’t quite sure that it was necessary or
quite what I was apologizing for, but figured I was better safe than sorry since
I clearly still felt a bit weird about the interaction. He said to me… “It’s ok, I figured you were probably feeling
a bit insecure and I was an easy target.”
Wow – and sadly, TRUE. He saw
right through me, when even I hadn’t come to terms with my behavior or the reasons
behind it. But honestly, I had been
feeling insecure. I was feeling a bit
like an outcast and had been away from my family for more than a week. Clearly, targeting and alienating the one
person who WAS being nice to me was the solution?!? What a mess.
As a rule, I make a real concerted effort to think before I
act, to know and understand my feelings before they are displayed for the world
to see, and to grasp the motivating factors in my life. For me, I need to put them into words before
my mind is allowed to act upon these thoughts in methods that don’t sync with how
I’ve decided I’d like to behave.
Actually, God bless my best friends…
I tend to do best when I talk out my feelings and toss around all the
different scenarios with an outside perspective. For
others it can be a simple matter of looking into the mirror here and there and
saying, “Oh, Hello there stranger!”…
Whatever your method – make the time to take a hard look at
yourself. Being the target of someone
else’s misguided understanding of their own feelings is both confusing and
hurtful. It’s as if their actions and
words don’t quite match, you know?
We’d
all have to be psychic’s or highly in tune psychologists to have successful
relationships if everyone behaved this way all the time. If you find that you have frustrating or
annoying encounters with different people on a regular basis, maybe it’s time
to reflect a bit. You might find a more deeply
rooted issue that you didn’t even know you were harboring. The truth is hard, but is always better than
a fabricated reality that only prolongs the inevitable.
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