A family that plays together

I am sure you've heard the saying, "A family that plays together, stays together." I have a hundred times.  Though, when I went to google it today to be sure I got it right, I found that there are a dozen variations of it, some normal, and some very unusual!  Apparently some families actually "Prey Together," who knew?  Regardless of how the saying has been butchered over the years, I wanted to talk a little bit about family today and this seemed like a good place to start.

I have been given the gift of a huge family.  Yup, it is a gift.  Sometimes it feels like the $5 check in a card from a great Aunt and other times it feels like I hit the lottery, but it is a gift all the same.  My poor husband comes from a small family that is scattered across the country, so I can only imagine what runs through his mind half the time as we power through one insane family party after another.  Secretly I think he loves it too or he would have walked away years ago, right?

Anyhow, as my family is struggling through the loss of my Aunt at the very young age of 45, I can't help but watch the family dynamic as I look for answers.  Grief brings out both the best and the worst in people and families.  I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a whole lot of tension, but it is a whole lot more than that too.  I am the type who prefers to connect with each person more one to one, so I have had the privilege of getting a lot of different perspectives over the last week.  During that time I have heard a lot of truths both positive and negative, a lot of people's feelings both justified and not and a lot of worry, support and love.

I am not exactly sure why we are so tough on the ones we love most.  Sometimes when feelings are hurt or hearts are breaking, it is easy to jump to conclusions or judge someone where we might have normally been able to look for the bigger picture.  It is hard for me to see my family struggling and in some instances even arguing when I know how much each of them is struggling.  It is when we are hurting though that we need each other the most.  This is the time when we need to forget about the old issues and come together as one to tackle the biggest hurt of all, losing someone too soon.   

I will say this much though, at the heart of all the chatter and frustration I have seen the silver lining too.  I think my cousin put it best when she posted "With our family being so big, it was so amazing and comforting to watch them one by one filling my grandmother's house this evening to come together to support one another over one of my Auntie's favorite meals-my grandmother's homemade spaghetti and meat sauce."  

We may not always get along, we may not even always like each other...  but the love of a strong family in unbreakable.  I am proud of the values that my parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents have instilled in each and every one of us and know that we will get past this hurdle as well as the many more that we will face in the years to come.  This week in honor of my Aunt I am asking each of you to find time to play with your family.  (or pray, or prey... what ever your style may be)  Find time to let loose, get silly, reminisce about the past and plan something fun for the future.  At the end of the day, is there really anything more important anyhow?  

Love you and miss you Auntie Jeanne.  

 Me, my brother and my Aunt from right to left

     Auntie Jeanne last Christmas