What makes you feel important in life? I know this is a loaded question, but apparently having a feeling of importance is one of the key elements to finding personal and professional happiness. So, think about it for a minute and see if you can pinpoint a few specific things that really define who you are as a person. It's funny how highly valued modesty is in our society, and yet a solid sense of self importance is what moves us, it's what defines our lives.
Many of the motivating factors in our lives are built around our own need for self importance. Everyone needs to feel important, it's a natural component in building self esteem. When we feel important we feel more confident in who we are as human beings and what we bring to the world around us. Though this sense of importance shows itself in different ways and in different levels of intensity for different people, the overall concept is the same for all.
Why is it though that often times in order to feel a sense of importance ourselves, we need to feel as though we are above others? In fact for some people, the only way for them to feel important is if they are climbing the backs of those around them. This is especially true of women competing against other women. Retract the claws ladies. Believe it or not, working together will get you a hell of a lot farther than behaving like caddy little school girls. Plus it is really annoying!
I know, it is natural to search out that feeling of importance by any means possible, but STOP... Think for a second, what is the harm in allowing others to feel important? Are we lesser people, have we accomplished less ourselves, if we allow someone else to feel good? Believe it or not, in the long run we get more from building each other up than by putting one another down. Sure, it might feel good for a minute to make fun of someone, or to gossip behind someones back. It certainly livens up a boring or stressful work environment too. We've all been there at one point or another, but relationships built on such rocky ground hold very little weight when it really counts.
Put your energy to better use and you will find your return on investment will be ten fold. Don't be afraid to be the least important person in the room. Seriously. In fact, make it your goal. I know that sounds a little drastic and crazy, but I don't mean for you to literally make yourself the least important person. What I mean is for you to make it a point to build the people up around you. Try to worry less about making YOU feel important and focus on making those around you feel important. Watch what happens when you do this too... You'll be shocked when you realize that this action inherently makes people want to put you on a pedestal. When you encourage others to talk about themselves, you immediately become more interesting. After all most people are 100% more interested in their own interests.
Pretty obvious right? Then why do we all half listen in conversations, while half thinking about what we are going to say next, trying to control ourselves from interrupting. Yup - it's one of my go-to moves. I have to remind myself to focus on what is being said, so I guess you could say I am doing 1/3 listening, 1/3 thinking about what to say next and 1/3 trying not to. No matter how hard you have to try to fight the urge, do it! There is nothing that can make a person feel less important than talking to someone who is constantly interrupting and bringing the topic back to themselves.
I am obsessed with the book "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Horrible title, brilliant book! Dale Carnegie spends an entire section of his book on this topic siting examples of historic leaders who lived their lives by this philosophy. If you ever get the chance to read (or listen to) this book, I promise you won't be disappointed. I guess it has been in the top sellers list for near to a century for a reason.
And because everyone needs a little Modern Family in their lives... Here's a funny clip that somehow manages to show you both sides of what I wrote about all in two minutes time! http://youtu.be/uZgmsgw1Xw8. Enjoy.
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